My friend Coral is a vibrant and creative beautiful woman, and I always listened to her advice. One of the things she used to do, when we were both dancers and touring throughout the world, was to drink more water when she was drinking coffee. I would need to ask her now, but from what I remember, if she had a cup of coffee, she would add a glass of water. She also told me about wearing gloves to wash dishes, which I didn’t do, having potatoes from time to time, to have the proper intake of glutamic acid, and of course, share desserts.
When it comes to susanaprana.com, I remember Coral and her encouragement to compensate coffee with water. I confess that having a website acts a little bit like coffee, and that I feel in need, even more than before, to have moments of Meditation (water), to compensate for that. I feel sometimes like I am, in a way, putting myself “out there”, when, in reality, I am “right here” and not, and never will be, “out there”. Coming back to the question “Who am I?”, it is very clear that I am not my website.
So, now I add to the list: I am not my pain, I am not my thoughts, I am not my fear, I am not my body, and no, I am not my website!
Another question: Is it really useful to have a website, or is it a black hole of ego and distraction, an evil thing that exists only in the cyber space and that you can evoke by writing some kind of code to this laptop (a computer that will be outdated very soon), for which I have already developed a fat bunch of attachment?
I do choose photos I like, photos that bring memories, and I love to create and share. I add the photos, name them, write some strategic words so that, hopefully, I (I?) can be found in a web search. Then, I search my website’s name, and it is there: success!
Wait a moment…what success? I remember Rumi’s words: “The only real rest comes when you’re alone with God. Live in the nowhere that you came from, even if you have an address here”. Thanks dear Rumi! I bet he didn’t care about being found in a google search.
Ok, so forget about it. Rumi, of course, has the answer, and I’m sure he added to the poem: “It is ok, Susana, it’s ok, use your website, share your information. Then, get your butt back to the cushion, and meditate!”
After my son, Leon, read what I just wrote, I reflect a little bit. He refers to the website as something into which I have put love and dedication, and he appreciates it. He can see beyond attachment and fear, and his view makes me see it again with new eyes. He, of course, knows that “I am not my website”. He doesn’t care about the google search.
A website is not who I am, and yet is serves my purpose: to communicate, to let someone have an idea of things I love, what I care for, what I have dedicated my life to, and what I offer to the world. It is a tool so that you (yes, you!) can read these lines, can watch a photo of that day when the daphnes bloomed, and that other photo when my husband and I celebrated an unusual winter storm practicing yoga outdoors, or read that poem that I read to the students (so many times that I know it literally by heart).
The website is not important, or if someone drank coffee one day, or water, or both. But, to communicate and to share - that is what is important.